


Not Her Own

by silver_drip



Series: Infinity Earth [4]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Body Dysphoria, Infinity Gems
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-18
Updated: 2019-05-18
Packaged: 2020-03-07 03:08:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18864487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silver_drip/pseuds/silver_drip
Summary: Nebula.





	Not Her Own

Nebula stared at her newest upgrade, her newest ‘improvement’. Almost all of her hair was gone. She wasn’t half as vain as her umber haired sister, but another loss of her original body weighed heavily on her. She was being chipped away at, found wanting at every turn.

But maybe this time it would be enough. Maybe this time she’d be able to face Gamora on even ground. It was her only comfort, had been for years, yet had never been proven true. 

At times she thought it was all a cruel game, a conspiracy between Thanos and Gamora to add variety to their usual genocide. More plaything than family member.

But she was just as good as Gamora at culling and creating balance in the universe. Not once had she faltered to obey Thanos. Yet, Gamora rebelled whenever it was convenient to her. Nebula envied her for that, aspired to do the same, but knew without a doubt that if she did, she’d be punished a hundred-fold. And Gamora wouldn’t say a word. Afterall, what was one more punishment for Nebula after countless before?  

Many days, Nebula wished she could just shake sense into Gamora. Did their past together mean nothing to her? Their whispers in the night about getting away from Thanos, promises to protect each other, treating each other’s wounds. Nebula remembered it clearly, yet it seemed to have faded from Gamora’s mind. 

And how Nebula dreaded when Thanos would once more pit them against each other. Every time she was crushed, ground down and another piece of her body was taken away. 

On most nights she couldn’t even recognize herself. The sound of her new servoses starling her, the faint electricity that made her muscles spasm, and not recognizing herself. At night she couldn’t sleep because if she closed her eyes her body might move without her say. It was her greatest fear: her body becoming so foreign that she would be trapped in her mind while her body kept on moving, and no one would notice. 

A change in the air caught her attention. Bitterly, she realized she wouldn’t have noticed it if not for one of her ‘improvements’. She ground her teeth as she went to investigate, sword in hand. Maybe a fight would cheer her up. 

On silent feet she moved through the halls of Thanos’ barracks. Patches of her organic skin tingled as she passed through sensors—defenses to keep intruders out. She became tenser when she realized she was nearing the artifact storage. 

By now, the trespasser should have set off at least one of the mechanisms, liquified by traps or swarmed by Thanos’ drones. It almost made her doubt her own senses. Maybe she was malfunctioning. 

That doubt was put to rest when the door to the artifacts room was unlocked. 

She rushed forward—and was promptly blasted backwards by a wave of purple. The breath was knocked out of her chest and her head nearly cracked against the hard wall. As she pushed past the pain she saw two figures, neither wielding a discernable weapon. 

Nebula stood, ready to fight the darkly dressed, face obscured pair. Purple energy coalesced in the taller of the two’s hand. 

Nebula snarled and flicked a switch on her sword. She’d cut through the energy this time. Even better, the shorter of the two didn’t seem to be paying attention at all. The fool. 

She didn’t hesitate to mount her second attack. Purple obstructed her view. She slashed downward, but instead of the energy being sliced in two it hit her again. She tasted blood and there were black spots in her vision, but she was undaunted. She’d gone through much worse. 

“Stop,” a calm voice said. It wasn’t quite a compulsion that made her freeze, but something close to one. Her sword dropped to the ground. 

Nebula’s vision cleared. The shorter of the two had a glowing gem in his hand. Her chest clinched. It was the Mind Stone, Thanos’ most prized possession. If it was stolen, her punishment would be unimaginable. 

“You don’t have to do this,” the same one said. Its voice was imploring, almost cloying. No one had ever spoken to her like that—her heart almost cracked in two, unnamable feelings pulsing through her. “This doesn’t have to be your life.” 

Nebula’s throat tightened. “Put down the stone,” she hissed. Her voice nearly broke. 

The yellow stone sunk into its hand and like a living nightmare she could almost feel the relentless punishment Thanos would rain down on her. Would any part of her even be left?

“You can leave this all behind. I can hide you.” Nebula wanted to laugh. Nothing could stop Thanos when he was on a mission. How could it be so naive? “You don’t have to hurt anymore. I can give you back what you loss.” 

The sweet words only left a bitter taste in her mouth. 

Nebula shook her head, trying to get rid of the unnatural fogginess. 

“I don’t want you to get hurt.” 

Nebula took in a deep breath. No one had ever—

“Liar,” she said weakly. “Thief!” Tears blurred her vision. There was no escaping Thanos. Why wouldn’t it just shut up?

The smaller of the two seemed to sag. 

“I’ll leave a replica so that you won’t be punished,” it said solemnly. Nebula wanted to laugh. There would always be punishment.

“If…  _ When  _ you change your mind, I’ll know. I’ll take you away from this place,” it whispered. 

A flicker of yellow appeared behind it, a replica of the Mind Stone. Then a flash of light blue and they were gone. 

She stared at the place they had once been before curling in on herself and sobbing. 

**Author's Note:**

> So I'm going on vacation *yay* so I might not be able to post for a week or two *boo*
> 
> Much love!


End file.
